


Who Will Love You?

by Sirenfiction



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Homophobia, One Shot, i wrote this at like two am from a friends prompt, religious homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 17:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2436431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirenfiction/pseuds/Sirenfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little thing I wrote for Ari a while back and finished a few weeks ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Will Love You?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArietteEpsilon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArietteEpsilon/gifts).



Kyoko got home. She let her backpack (black, adorned with little chains Sayaka had given her for her birthday. Some of them where cats, some of them types of food.) fall to the ground in her room. Her vision blurred, red hair falling into her face.  
This wasn't happening. No. It shouldn't be like this.  
Kyoko closed her door, her back sinking against the wood. Her bed is off to the side of her room, a picture of her and Sayaka and Madoka and Homura and Mami with their arms around each other, facing away from the camera. Kyoko rips is down, falling into her bed and using her nails (Sayaka had painted them at lunch two days ago) to rip a single line down through her blue haired friends back. She crumpled up the paper and threw it across the room, her head falling back onto her pillows. She takes her phone out of her pocket and deletes every picture of Sayaka from her camera roll, tears blurring her eyes. She saves the first picture with the blue haired girl, one from before they even knew each other. It's a picture of Mami and Madoka laughing in their schools library. Sayaka is sitting in the background, reading a comic book.  
Kyoko stays in her bed staring at the photo for a long time. At one point she glances away, only to have her eyes fall on the bible next to her bed, and the silver cross she'd not put on this morning. She closes her eyes.

She'd woken up happy. She and Sayaka we're going out to a movie after school, and she had a good grade in math for once. Her dad had actually put her score up on the fridge, like in a movie.  
Kyoko had gotten dressed like she always did, not putting on her necklace right away because her hair was still a bit wet from her shower. She went downstairs and started gathering up her school stuff.  
"Good morning." Her father said as she entered the living room. Kyoko grinned and put her stuff in her backpack. A piece of paper fell out of her binder, a short note scrawled onto it.  
"Oh, dad, can I borrow a bit of money? I made plans to go out to the movies." Kyoko asked, picking up the note she had wrote to remind herself. Her dad raised an eyebrow.  
"Who are you going with?" He asked.  
"Sayaka." Kyoko said. She was met with silence.  
"No." Her father said, frowning at her.  
"Why?" Kyoko was confused, her father had given her money to go out with her other friends before.  
"I don't want my daughter hanging out with someone like her." Kyokos father responded simply. Kyoko was still confused.  
"What do you mean?" She asked.  
"Don't you see Kyoko? She attempts to pursue relationships with other girls. You shall not be allowed to interact with someone whose beliefs are so sinful.." Kyokos father made to put a hand on his daughters shoulder. Kyoko flinched away.  
"Your wrong! Sayaka is a good person! She's not gay!" Kyoko shouts. She doesn't know why she's so defensive of her friend, but her father must be wrong. Sayaka is nice, and she might not have the same religious views as Kyokos father, but she never went against his teachings either.  
"Do not yell under my roof." Kyokos father said sternly. "I saw you friend putting up pro-homosexual fliers near church yesterday, and claiming that your pink haired friend was her 'wife'. You will not be premitted to see any of these girls from now on." Kyokos father looked on sadly the red haired girls face changed from confused to sad to angry and back again.  
"Your lying to me." She retorted sharply, picking up her backpack. "Your lying." She opened the door and slammed it behind her, hair rippling in the cold morning air. She bites her lip to keep from crying and begins running down the street.  
Sayaka had never shown any sign of being gay, right? They'd never discussed religion much, but Kyoko had always just assumed that her beliefs would be shared by the rest of the group. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that whenever she talked about her church or her father Sayaka would try to change the subject immediately, and Madoka and Homura would look at each either sadly, or worriedly. Mami always would give Kyoko a sharp look, as if trying to convey something.  
"Oh no..." Kyoko whispers to herself as she runs, turning the corner out into the rock paved path that she and her friends take to school. She spots Madoka and Sayaka up ahead, talking to Hitomi. Kyoko and the green haired girl had never really gotten along, mostly because Hitomi usually spent time with her boyfriend instead of the girls.  
"Hey Kyoko! What's the rush?" Sayaka called out. Kyoko slowed down, rubbing her eyes and looking at the blue haired girl. She took a deep breath.  
"My father doesn't want me seeing you anymore." She said, looking into Sayakas eyes. Sayaka and Makdoka exchange a look.  
"Why?" Sayaka ass softly, looking at the ground.  
"He thinks you're gay." Kyoko says. Madoka makes a small noise.  
"Oh." Sayaka murmurs.  
"I'm sorry, I told him he was wrong, but..." Kyoko trails off. "I will still see you in school, I just can't hang out after. He might change his mind if we can prove to him-"  
"Stop. Kyoko, just stop." Sayakas voice is harsh. She clenches a fist and stares up at the sky, refusing to look at the red headed girl.  
"Your fathers right. We shouldn't see each other anymore. Bye." Sayaka turns sharply and walks away, her pace measured but quick. Madoka sniffs back tears and runs after her friend. Kyoko stands there, stunned.  
'Your father's right'...what did that mean? Kyokos backpack begins slipping off her shoulders. She pushed it back up and begain walking in a daze.  
Father always thought you what was right or wrong. This is on the wrong side. You should be happy to leave these sinners. Part of Kyokos brain hissed.  
What does it matter what gender Sayaka likes! She's still the same isn't she? Another part of Kyokos brain retorted. Kyoko squeezed her eyes shut, waking on autopilot back towards her home. Her brain continues with this back and forth reasoning until she's back on her block. She shakes her head violently and turns towards a small park. The place is empty right now, since all the children are at school and the adults at work. Kyoko sits down at a wooden table and places her head in her hands, palms digging into her eyes and making lights flash against the darkness.  
Your fathers not part of this! You and your friends are what matters here! Part of her brain yells at her. The other part of her brain starts calling up phrases of her fathers teachings, but Kyoko stops both of them from continuing. She pictures both voices. One takes the shape of her younger self, before she dyed her hair, clutching a bible and dressed for church. The other voice becomes Sayaka, just as Kyoko always pictures her, in her school uniform with a grey sweater over her top and a stick of Pocky that Kyoko had given her between her teeth.  
"What do I do?" She asks both of them.  
"You go back to school before your late and you ignore them until they've seen their wrongs. Then you can become friends again." Her younger self says coldly. Her inner Sayaka scoffs and brushes Kyokos hair aside.  
"Just go back and apologize to me. We're friends, and this won't change anything between us." She says. Kyoko shakes her head, pulling out of her own mind. She pictures Sayakas pale face as she turned away and marched off. There was no way she would forgive her, and Kyoko still didn't understand what was happening.  
She fiddles with her backpack.  
Okay. What do I know for sure? She asks herself.  
1\. Sayaka is (probably) a lesbian  
2\. She's mad at me  
3\. So is Madoka  
4\. I'm missing school  
5\. I'm not sure if fact number one changes anything for me

Kyoko wrote her list down. She closed her eyes.  
Okay, let's picture Sayaka with a girl.  
Kyokos mind painted a picture before her. Her blue haired friend was sitting on a bench, laughing. She turned to brain Kyoko.  
"Hey babe." She said, grinning. Kyoko blinked, both in real life and her imagination. Mind-Sayaka leaned in and kissed her.  
Kyoko almost fell of her seat. She caught the table in time, and sat there, eyes wide. Where had that come from?  
Kyoko took a deep breath.  
"Sayaka doesn't like me." She said to herself. She tried to picture Sayaka again, focusing on dialogue this time.  
"Hey, Sayaka. You dating anyone?"  
"Oh, yeah, actually. I've got a girlfriend."

Okay, that wasn't that dramatic. Except for the fact that Kyokos stomach was now twisting itself into knots. Why did she have to care so much?  
Kyoko sighed.  
5\. UPDATE: fact one does not change anything for our friendship.  
6\. I do not want Sayaka in a relationship with anyone.

Kyoko stared at her list again, her pen tapping the side of her mouth lightly. It was pointless to try and go to school now, she was far to late for any excuse to work. She would just head home and tell her father she didn't feel well. She didn't truthfully.  
Kyoko stood up, picking up her bag. She stared at the list for a moment before crumpling it up and putting it into the pocket on her backpack. The little charms on the zippers clicked, a noise that always made Kyoko smile, mostly because Sayaka had given her-  
"Oh." Oh.  
Kyoko blinked. It took her brain a second to catch up with the conclusion it had just made.  
That's why this mattered so much.  
That's why her stomach tied itself in knots over the thought of Sayaka having a girlfriend, and why her brain chose to play out that scene.  
She had a crush on Sayaka Miki.

 

Kyoko shivered, staring at her ceiling. She'd wandered home after reaching her conclusion, and by the time she let herself in her dad was gone.  
"Sayaka..." She muttered, rolling over and burying her face in the pillow. Her brain flashed with images of Sayakas smile and laugh, alongside the memory of her warm hugs and sarcastic remarks. Kyoko had had crushes before, she knew this feeling. But it was Sayaka, she wasn't supposed to feel like this. Kyoko started crying again, this time her tears drowning everything in the world out.  
She went on like this, going between stunned silence and crying and almost smiling at thoughts of Sayaka, for several hours. By the time Kyoko got up to use the bathroom school was almost over. She stared at her messy hair and tear stained cheeks for a while before slowly washing her face and brushing out her ponytail, putting it up again with careful fingers. She went down to her living room and stretched out on the couch, clicking the TV on to some meaningless news station and curling up as she watched the colors flick by.

Someone knocked on her door. School had ended about ten minutes ago, making Kyoko recall that she had a test today that she would have to make up. She sighed and got up, suspecting that it was probably just a package for her father or someone asking for a donation. What she didn't expect was to see a worried looking Sayaka holding up a bag of chips and a pack of Pocky.  
"Hey. I thought we could talk." The blue haired girl says, not looking at Kyoko. She pushes the food a little closer to her friends face.  
"Come in." Kyoko says much to quickly, stepping aside. Sayaka smiles a bit and walks inside, putting the food down on a foot rest and taking a seat on the couch awkwardly.  
"I'm not really sure what to say. I had this whole thing planned, but..." Sayaka scratched her neck and leans back into the couch, still refusing to look at Kyoko who stands near the now closed door.  
"It's okay." The red head says softly. "I mean, it's not with my dad, but...I'm okay with it." She continues, a bit louder. Sayaka finally looks at her.  
"Thanks. I should have told you...none of us knew how you would react. This was probably the worst way for things to go." Sayaka chuckles to herself and opens the bag of chips, offering it to Kyoko.  
Both girls sat on the couch and watch TV for a while in silence, eating their food. After a whole Kyoko mutes a commercial and turns to Sayaka.  
"I'm sorry I was so mean this morning." She says.  
"I'm sorry I kept a secret from you. I figure we're even. I just got pretty afraid that you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore, I was the one who was mean." Sayaka hangs her head.  
"No, it's not your fault! I was being rude! I was freaking out because- uh, cause my dad...and...uh...yeah. I'm sorry." Kyoko blushed and stuffed a few more chips in her mouth.  
"Im sorry if I made things weird for you." Sayaka sighs, hugging herself a little.  
"It's okay. He doesn't need to know. I'm okay with it, I promise. My dads just a douche." Kyoko gets a rush just from saying those words. She sits up a little straighter. Sayaka looks up, meeting Kyokos eyes, and giggles.  
"What's funny?" Kyoko says defensively, wiping her face with the back of her hand in case she had food stuck there.  
"You. Me. This whole situation." Sayaka giggles.  
"This is a very serious change in my way of thinking about my life." Kyoko says in a monotone. She stares a Sayaka for a moment, before realizing how absurd the sentence sounded coming out of her own mouth. Both she and her blue haired friend burst into fits of giggles.

Sayaka leaves after a while longer, after convicting Kyoko to let her "accidentally talk about all the questions on that test so you have time to study the right material". Kyoko cleans up the chip crumbs and tidies up a bit, before sprawling out on the couch with a box of tissues and an old thermometer that always measured her temperature a few degrees high. She sits like that until her dad gets home, and he buys her story of feeling sick and heading home easily. He'd either completely forgiven her or forgotten about the mornings events.

Kyoko eventually retreats to her room, pulling the little list out of her bag.  
1\. Sayaka is (probably) a lesbian  
2\. She's mad at me  
3\. So is Madoka  
4\. I'm missing school  
5\. I'm not sure if fact number one changes anything for me UPDATE: fact one does not change anything for our friendship.  
6\. I do not want Sayaka in a relationship with anyone.  
7\. Sayaka Miki is the best friend in the universe  
8\. I kinda have a crush on her

Kyoko carefully folds her paper and replaces it in her backpack. She picks up her phone, seeing a text from Sayaka, along with a few from her other friends. She opens the blue haired girls first.

I'm single, just so you know  
;)  
-Sayaka <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
